Wednesday, May 27, 2009

While I'm Waiting...

Can I just say how good God is. He always shows up when I need him most. Thankfully today he was watching & listening to my heart when I was feeling so lost. We serve such a faithful God, and for that I am grateful. ... Recently I lost my job due to budget cuts. It felt like a knife through the heart even though I know it is happening to many people around the country right now. I am trying not to take it so personally, but it is difficult not to when teaching is all I have done since the moment I stepped out of college. Truly, it is all I know and losing a job makes you question whether you are good at that job or not. My principal has tried to assure me that I am a great teacher. Some days are better than others, but some days I don't see how "great" teachers can be let go. Today just happened to be one of those days. I spent the morning packing up my classroom with my students and they have so many questions for me. They don't understand why I can't come back and teach in my classroom next year. They are devastated and their devastation combined with the devastation of their parents does me in everyday. I know next Thursday when I have to say goodbye to them will be extremely difficult for me and for them as well. ... That brings me to today and how faithful God is. I got in my car after school and just couldn't help but cry. (I know my hormones are running a muck in my body and that isn't helping the situation, but it is what it is.) I kept asking God why this had to happen and what my next step is going to be. I feel sad, confused, even angry at times. When I got home I turned on my computer and went to my blog page. As the page opened so did a song called, "While I'm Waiting" by John Walker. Thank you Lord for the perfect song to speak to my heart when I needed it most. I can't explain it without the lyrics so here they are...

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience ...
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race, even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait

Yes, I will wait...
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

If you scroll to the bottom of my blog page you can click on the song and listen to it. It is so powerful and such a reminder of God's faithfulness to us. We all have seasons and chapters in our lives. At some point, seasons and chapters come to a close and while we wait for the next thing all we can do is rely on God. He never said it would be easy, but he did say he would always be there for us. It does bring peace to my mind to know that God already knows the next step. He is just preparing my heart. He knows if I am going to step into another teaching position somewhere else; He knows if I am going to just take time and enjoy becoming a mother in December. God knows! The waiting process is a difficult one, but this song is a reminder for me to serve the Lord and worship him while I wait.

I am a true believer that all things happen for a reason. We may not know the reason at the time, but hopefully God will reveal it to us later on down the road. God's timing is incredible. He allowed me to find out I was pregnant one week before finding out that I lost my job. Yes, I went from feelings of joy to sorrow, but God had a plan. He knew I needed to know my dream of becoming a mom was coming true before my time of being a teacher was taken from me. And truly, I don't know if my time of teaching is over ... I just know there is another step coming somewhere along the path and I am watchful until God shows me. Will I have more days of doubt? I am sure. But, will I continue to trust and rely on God? It's all I can do.

Thank you God for your unconditional love and guidance. I will serve you while I'm waiting.

Monday, May 25, 2009

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord

Every Memorial Day weekend David and I travel to St. Augustine with our church for an annual marriage retreat. It is such an amazing time for us to grow closer together as a couple. We have been the past 3 years now and as soon as we get home, we are excited about the next one. It's not that new found information is taught every year, but it's a time to learn a little more about each other than we knew before and spend time with one another away from the stresses of life, which is so necessary!

God meant for marriage to be such an important part of life. God loves us so much that he knew we would be lonely if we had to spend this life alone so he gave us someone special to share it with. Someone to cherish as long as we both shall live, not until we get tired of them. Something really cool about Jeff & Debbie McElory (the speakers at the retreat) was their ability to teach using drama. They did this incredible skit showing the changes in a couple from the wedding day until the kids are grown and gone. I have to tell you that it scared David and I. The couple was so in love on their wedding day as all couples are. Then, kids came and they seemed to hit the pause button on their relationship and just focus on raising the kids. When they finally got all the kids out of the house 25 years later their love for one another had faded. They didn't know who they were anymore because instead of focusing on each other, they focused on the kids. They both felt alone and as if they had nothing in common. They had 2 choices - to start over with one another or leave and start over with someone else. Of course the skit ended with them starting over with one another, but I was already balling by then. It was so sad to me to see a couple so in love on their wedding day grow to not even know who the other was anymore. This can't happen. God meant marriage for life. God gave each of us a life long partner to share this life with. He made us a team and together we are so much better than apart. David and I sat there looking at each other after the skit was over and just vowed to put our relationship first, always! Yes, we are excited to have kids. But, we can't raise kids in a loving home if our relationship with one another isn't filled with love first. Our kids will suffer if we choose not to put our spouse first. Deep down I have always believed this, but to see it pan out in front of my eyes really made me realize the importance of my relationship with David. David is here before the children come and he will be here after they leave the house. God meant for me to love him with my whole heart, as I most certainly do. God meant for our love for one another to overflow into the lives of our children so we can be an example of what a Godly marriage looks like. It is how we treat each other that teaches a child how to treat their spouse one day. It's up to us. What kind of legacy will we leave?

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11-12 ... God has amazing plans for our marriage and I can't wait to see what he has in store if we rely and trust in him.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Dr. Smith and more changes...

Well, the day has finally come and gone. Yesterday David graduated from medical school and has officially become a doctor. Both David's family and my family drove up from Tampa to celebrate this special occasion with us. It is so crazy to think about the amount of time Dave has spent going to school - 21 out of 26 years. We spend so much of our lives in school wishing our way out that when the time comes and we finally finish school, we wish we could go back. You just don't know how good you have it in school until it's all said and done and real life begins. I have been out working in the real world for the last 4 years and I know Dave is excited to get out there working in the real world as well ... well, at least to be getting paid to work instead of paying to work. Oh, won't that be nice! :)

Here is a picture of David's family at graduation.

I found a picture of my family! :) Yay! Here they are at graduation. We were so glad everyone was there!

Pediatric Residency begins on July 1st and I know Dave will make such an incredible doctor. If you have ever spent any time watching him interact with kids you know what I am talking about - it's completely magical. On Friday my classroom ran a Mexican Restaurant for the culmination of a unit on communities and jobs. Dave came in as the head chef and helped 3 of my students run the kitchen. It wasn't an easy job, but he did it so well and made those students feel so important running that kitchen. A few teachers pulled me aside as they were finishing up their meal and complemented me on what a wonderful husband I have and how good he is with kids. ... I know he will make every child he comes in contact with, sick or healthy, feel so special. That to me, is magical.

So, as our lives change into both of us in the working world, more changes come as well. Most of you already know, but Dave and I will soon become parents this Christmas. We are so excited to embark on this new journey in life and pray that God will prepare us to be Godly parents. I am currently 9 weeks and 5 days pregnant today and switch weeks every Tuesday. So far, I feel great - no morning sickness or anything (knock on wood!). I had my first OB appointment 2 Fridays ago and everything went wonderfully. The baby was at that point 8 mm long, but should be about an inch by now. We also could see the little heart beating. It looks like a firefly flashing in the night. I am scheduled to see the OB again on June 2 when I hit week 12. Please pray that Baby Roo (as David calls it - like the baby in a kangaROO pouch :) continues to grow normally and remains healthy. We don't care what the sex is, we just want a healthy baby, as all parents do. It sure does feel like it takes a long time for a baby to grow, but we know Baby Roo will be here before we know it! :)

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.-Psalm 139:13

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Skit Night

I promise I haven't dropped off the blogging world. I seem to have been slacking on my picture taking and I am not a fan of blogging without pictures unless it is something REALLY cool or deep. Lots has been going on lately... we went to Jimmy Buffet two weeks ago, Shrimp Fest in Fernandina Beach last weekend, and Med School 4th yr Skit Night on Friday night. The skits were hilarious this year - mostly because Dave's class is the 4th year class this year and it's so much funnier when you know the people in the skits. Skit night opened with a Saturday Night Live theme and a live revolution of dance with the girls of the 4th year class and a few select guys, Dave being one of them. I think the funniest skit was the Single Ladies skit. They basically reenacted the skit from Saturday Night Live and the guys, including Dave, wore leotards and did the background dancing. It was absolutely hilarious - I wish I had a video to post so you could see it. But, just imagine (if you can) Dave and a bunch of other guys dancing around in leotards to Single Ladies. Kinda scary! :)

The final thing they do at skit night is announce who is going into which residencies. They all make signs and choose songs that go with their specialties and dance around on stage. Up top is a picture of Dave and I holding the Peds sign he made. They danced on stage to the theme song from Sponge Bob.
...Well, that wraps up a quick update. Next weekend is Med School Graduation so be on the look out for that. I can't believe 4 years of med school has already come and gone. Where does the time go?

Until next time..

Much Love,
Dani & Dave